The First Steps

First off, I can't tell you how difficult this is going to be for me. But they say that the first way to combat a problem is to admit that there IS a problem. So although I'm rather embarrassed, and although I'd rather do this as privately as possible, I am creating a blog to help hold me accountable to myself and anyone else who might want to read it for some reason. The nebulous "they" might read this and so therefore, I will be more inclined to continue through my journey.

My problem is that I am EXTREMELY unorganized and HATE to clean. Therefore I don't do what I need to do and let things go. Then when I am in the mood to clean, I am overwhelmed and don't even know where to start. When I have "staycations" the past few years, I have spent a majority of that time trying to catch up and have done little to no relaxation during my much deserved time away from work. And the little bit that I do get done goes back to hell in a hand-basket quickly when my two kids and darling hubby come into the picture. So I need to change something and the only thing that I CAN change is myself at the moment.

Two weeks ago, I had another "staycation" and powered through and got a LOT cleaned, but still we are not where I want to be. Getting there, but I *AM* proud of what we (yes, the darling hubby and oldest child helped quite a bit) have accomplished thus far. But since I know we still have a long way to go, I was looking online for something to help me/us out.

I did not grow up in a house where you had a "chore day". We just cleaned things when we could stand it no longer. So my tolerance for messy and cluttered is pretty high because if I wasn't bothered by it, I wouldn't have to stop playing to clean and could just continue to do the fun things. I do not blame my parents for this in the least because they were (and still are) a very hard-working couple and had 3 kids and tons of activities to attend to. And they had a much lower threshold for the clutter, so the house was easy enough to spot-clean when necessary. Plus they used a cleaning lady once a week most of the time that I was growing up, so MY motivation to really clean is a bit lacking. Anyway, back to today....

So I found a site online called FlyLady.net: Your personal online coach to help you gain control of your house and home. And the first thing I see is a box asking if I feel overwhelmed, overextended and overdrawn? Am I hopeless and don't know where to start? They also put that CHAOS stands for "Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome". Holy cow! This is my life! It's like they reached inside my mind and pulled that thought bubble out that I've been having all my adult life! The next thing I see is understanding and forgiveness. This is something that I have NEVER allowed myself to have... Who could possibly understand why I have let this go so long? Why should I forgive myself for allowing my family that I love so much to live in (pretty much) squalor? My outlook has already changed drastically because someone else is giving me this gift, so I can give it to myself as well, right? (By the way, FLY stands for "Finally Loving Yourself". Pretty cool, huh?)

They have what they term "babysteps" to start you out. You are encouraged to remember that your house and life didn't get like this in an hour or two, but over a long period of time. So I shouldn't anticipate cleaning and organizing everything in the house in just a short period of time. I need to establish a set of habits to keep things going. Yes, I knew this, but always have the unattainable goal of getting everything neat and tidy and then keeping it that way because we will have "chore day" once a week. This has NEVER worked in my house. So the idea of starting a routine of things just a few minutes a day so that I never have to have a specific "chore day" sounds like a God-send to me!

Today I am starting with day 1 on the babysteps. I am to "shine the sink". And that is all for today. So I start putting the dishes away that are in the dish rack. I clean the dish rack and the draining mat for under the rack. I clean the silverware holders for the dish rack. And I start with right sink in my double sink, as I can only find one of my drain plugs and can't do both sinks at the same time.

The left sink is now soaked as well and rinsed. Soft scrubbed the sinks, rinsed, dried and then windexed. They are BEAUTIFUL! I feel such a sense of accomplishment and can't wait until tomorrow when I only have to just do a quick shine (not a soak as well) on the sink and get dressed to my lace-up shoes. So happy right now. And the sink looks GORGEOUS!

I can do this! I can do this!! =D